We are at 6 months today waiting for Leah to come home. I am a bit discouraged, as I really thought at this point our paperwork would be in South Korea. I actually can't really think about it I get so down. I feel like a member of our family is missing, and she is. I have heard from people that a pregnancy is 9 months, and I just need to be patient. BUT, the thing is I have been pregnant twice. At the 6 month mark in a pregnany you have the knowledge that in 3 months you will meet your baby. You feel the baby move. You have visible proof there is a baby growing in you. You have constant congrats from all you meet. With adoption, no one really has any idea from looking at you that your baby is growing in your heart, half a world away. I really believe in my heart the little girl the Lord has for our family is out there. Her heart beats the same as mine. And every day when I sit down to dinner with my family we pray for her. And although there are no visible reminders that I am pregnant. I am. This little girl is alive in all our hearts. After 6 months of paper chasing we are just ready. I know I have a long journey ahead. I know we have many mountains to cross until I hold her. I can only imagine if I love her like this after 6 months of knowing our baby will be born in South Korea, when I travel to pick her up it will be one of the greatest experiences of my life. Lord, keep my baby girl safe and hold her close. Bless those that care for our daughter until we can.
Elisabeth, I know *exactly* how you feel. Granted, this time around it's a little easier for us to handle the wait b/c we have Olive home (and I actually plan to post about that). But when we were waiting for Olive, I felt the EXACT same way. I'll have to send you the post I did about these emotions. It just got so frustrating that people didn't understand that they should be excited for us. And even people who KNEW we were adopting didn't really know how to deal with us, the wait, and our excitement. Too many people just don't understand.
ReplyDeleteSo hang in there. It feels like an eternity now, and some days are way worse than others. But time will pass, you'll clear hurdles, and soon, your girl will be home :)
Oh boy. The wait for HSTK was sooo hard for me. While I kept thinking of it as "1 month closer" it was so difficult to be waiting to wait. I was so anxious to start counting down those days and months to referral. In other words, I can understand how you are feeling... Hang in there! HUGS.
ReplyDeleteThis is the worst part. Oh soooo close. Soon you will see the color pink mixed with all your blue and brown and some dolls among the trucks and trains!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet post. Waiting is so hard when you know your baby is over there and you just want some proof. I can't WAIT until you get your referral and see her beautiful photo! We're all here waiting in anticipation along with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouragement, everyone!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your vulnerability. I will remember this when we get discouraged from the waiting. We have the same prayer for our baby. I will definitely be praying for your family during this time.
ReplyDeleteWaiting stinks to matter where you are in the process. It seemed as though at each step I would tell myself.... oh, I'll feel better once XXX happens... and then it would... and I would become obsessed with the next step!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how the human heart can love someone without even knowing who they are loving!
Adoption is really a miracle!
Hugs to you!
i remember writing almost the *exact* same post when we were waiting for rubin. expecting a baby, but no one can see it... so different yet so similar to expecting a baby through pregnancy. i know exactly how you feel. hang in there, mama! the time will go by quickly and, before you know it, your little leah will be home, in your arms.
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