I thought I would do a little blog on something I struggle with, mommy guilt. Here are some things keeping me up at night. Anderson does not have a baby scrapbook. And his pregnancy memory journal is about 10% filled in. Jack has 2 baby scrapbook but one still has two pages blank in the middle. His pregnancy journal is half filled in. Sigh. This is driving me nuts. I tried to order baby pictures to start Anderson book but only half got delivered. Also, I want to make photo colleges for each of their rooms. Jack needs some current big kid jack photos in there. I still need to get Anderson two year pictures taken and guess who still needs to make his two year doctors appt.?? Enough guilt? Nope, moving onto leah. I love her. But I am terrified of leaving Anderson, my baby now. For a week. I am considering having Daniel go get her. Big mommy guilt on thinking this. I am torn. I am fairly sure I will end up going, but also sure my heart will ache for a week of missing all my boys. Let's move on to stay at home mommydom. Some days by 3pm I wish to heaven for a chariot to carry me away to a quiet adult place. Where there are mature discussions, money being made, perhaps some Starbucks being quietly sipped on while I ponder my work? Mommy guilt. Why am I not so thrilled to have so much time to spend with my boys? Why am I wishing so many days away until daddy gets off work? I have no outside job, and I rarely get away from the boys except to grocery shop on the weekends. Wishing to get away more leaves me with:: you guessed it. And lately I am longing for the days with one child. It is so much easier with one. You get to spend so much quality time with one. I feel bad Anderson does not have that and jack lost it. And now we will have a third. I took jack alone to run errands lately and it was heaven. He was so easy and fun. I tried to make it fun for him since we usually have little brother with us. We even sat quietly and read books in Barnes! Sweet Anderson tears thru Barnes pulling books off shelves. On the other hand, anderson naps, which is glorious. Jack has not napped for like 3 years. So I guess mommy guilt runs rampant in my life. Thanks if you read this! I hope your life holds less guilt, more joy!
** I have to add, if you do work outside the home, I think that is great, to each his own. I hope you have no guilt over it. I may end up doing it eventually. I hope I did not come across like anyone should have any guilt over anything! Just sharing my own feelings lately....
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