Yea, corny, I know. I am still here, just waiting around for the phone to ring. Which it probably will sometime today, but it probably won't be my social worker. I am feeling a little nutty, with a totally empty bedroom upstairs sans a closet full of baby girl clothes. And a sweet antique chandelier I am going to spray paint cream and add pink shades too. Does anyone or did anyone feel this way with an adoption? It is odd to be gathering things and not really have any real proof on me that I will be the mother of a tiny little girl from Korea. I have my adoption shirts, my neclaces, my magnets, my blog........ But really, this wait is starting to get to me. I do have the boys to keep me busy, and that is my only save. The constant wondering "when will I get the call?" is making me antsy and nervous. I even have crazy wild dreams about a referral and some of them are not pleasant. I am totally psyching myself out about traveling to Korea alone and leaving my boys for a whole week. I pretty much am panicked about it. Jack I think will be ok, but again, I am so worried about Anderson, who is not yet even 2. I guess this is just all a part of the wait, but boy is this wait emotional. Just when I think about "the call" I tear up. And I am not a crier. (well don't ask my hubby about it, but I say I am not one)
I love reading blogs, but I am afraid I have started to stalk people's timelines. Which is fun, but sometimes discouraging. Some people have their referral by this point, others had awhile to wait. We were trying to save up all the money needed for referral, and have so far been able to pay cash for all adoption expenses, but yesterday Daniel applied for loan for 3/4 of what we will need to pay Korea in the event we do get our referral soon. We try to be debt free, and I know that is hard on Daniel. But maybe we will not need it if we get some kind of sweet hail storm. (Daniel has an auto appraisal business, and if he gets a hail claim at a car dealership, it is payday!) So if you want, pray for hail. :)
So those are my jumbled thoughts on this Thursday. Hail and all.
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