Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Just had to put this out there... Too much on my mind to keep mum! My life is getting easier, Jack is in school now, Anderson's tantrums have calmed down, Annelise is an angel (most of the time). And today I could actually BREATHE again! It feels good. Almost a little TOO good. On my heart is the orphan. I try to forget, to enjoy this time with my littles, but I can't stop thinking there may be one more out there that needs a Mommy and Daddy. My timing is way off. We can't afford to start another adoption again, but it is ALL I think about. I love the ease of two at home and Jack in school. But then I think, do I want a life of ease here on earth? I look at our kitchen and think it needs a total overhaul. Which would cost about 20 grand. I know I could never do it. I would think with every new appliance a baby out there with big brown (blue?) eyes waiting. So pray for me. Pray for my hubby. If this is His will, and I do believe HE sets the lonely in families, then my hubby's heart will be changed, or I will be able to relax with this life I have with 3 small children. If you would like to offer me any advice, chime in! Because most of you that read this blog have the heart for an orphan.
Perhaps all it means is that we will adopt again one day, just not anytime soon. I know my hubby would love to be able to save save save for the future. And I get that, that is responsible. But who will look after them if not us?


  1. This is unreal.....I JUST got off the phone with my husband, because I am so unsettled about children needing homes!!!! I am so conflicted about which direction to go after Liam gets home. I do feel like pregnancy is how baby #3 will come to us, but I feel like time is ticking away and I'm losing children if I "waste" time on a pregnancy. Isn't that irrational!? EVERY child is a gift from God, whether from adoption or pregnancy, and I'm just begging the Lord to make it clear which way we need to go. Trust me, I could've written this post myself!!!

  2. I feel EXACTLY the same way an our Maddox is not even home yet.

  3. We dont even have a referral yet (going to committee on Sept.1st) and I am already thinking about our next adoption. That will bring us to a total of 6 children and I dont know if my hubby will go for anymore after that but I do pray that the Lord will continue to keep our hearts open to giving children forever homes!

  4. Right there with you, girl. We knocked a hole in the wall of our kitchen and THEN decided to start the adoption process for EG. Phil and his brother in law finally framed the hole a few weeks after we got back from Korea (a year we had a hole in the kitchen!) We literally pulled the wall paper off the walls as we moved boxes in almost four years ago and have still never even painted!! The interior designer in me has HAD IT with the kitchen, but the mama says "really? one of the ovens is still hanging in there and the walls are standing . . . I'm sure there's a baby out there somewhere with much less". Come on Publisher's Clearing House!!!

  5. I know how you feel too. We just brought our daughter home 7 months ago and are in the process to bring another home already. That will make six kids and 2 adoption. I think of all the things we could use the money for and how crazy life is already but when you look at the difference you can make in a life the rest doesn't matter and feels selfish! Good luck. I often wonder if I will feel like we are done with this one or if it is a feeling that never goes away!



About Me

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We are waiting to adopt our fourth child from the U.S.A. I am a momma to three other awesome children and wife to the love of my life. My boys are homegrown and my daughter is adopted from S. Korea . We cannot wait to meet our next baby!