It has to come out, a good old feel sorry for myself whine. Here goes!
It has been one month 5 days since I found out we are number 1 or 2 on the list for a girl born in Korea. I am tired tired tired of this wait. I am fried. Undone. Emotionally drained. I am wishing I had never told anyone we were adopting because I am so tired of answering the questions about if we have our referral, and when we are going to get it. Blabbler mouth here told everyone we would have our referral in the fall. And I was not crazy, I was told we would. The waits got longer. But it was possible, there is one family that started adopting after us with our agency, and already has their baby home. I was told " the process is averaging sign up to home in 15 months." So, yeah, at almost 13 months of this I figured I would have her sweet little picture.
I try to stay positive, I do. I try to be thankful for all my blessings. And some days, I manage to focus on the positive. But lately, as the 6 month mark waiting gets closer I am anxious. How long are we going to be at the top of the list like this????
Waiting is rough. I am so ready to see my daughter. So ready to have our family complete.
Thanks if you made it this far. I know I do have so many blessings in my life. And I do know it is all in God's timing, and this should be teaching me something. I love you , sweet Leah. And I pray really really hard that soon I will have you for my daughter.
May you live all the days of your life.
--- Jonathan Swift
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About Me
- Elisabeth
- We are waiting to adopt our fourth child from the U.S.A. I am a momma to three other awesome children and wife to the love of my life. My boys are homegrown and my daughter is adopted from S. Korea . We cannot wait to meet our next baby!
Girl, waiting IS rough. So many of us have been in your shoes - the indefinable wait is just excruciating. Just do whatever it takes to make it through - chocolate, wine, bubble baths... ((hugs))
ReplyDelete"I am so tired of answering the questions about if we have our referral, and when we are going to get it." Me tooooooo! My best friends are like, "Sorry! We won't ask any more!" LOL. I love them though :-) Waiting is HARD. Waiting at #1 is HARD. I totally feel your pain. I am willing my phone to ring and it's NOT working! And I've only been #1 for 21 hours!
ReplyDeleteWaiting isn't fun. God is definitely working on my heart about His awesome timing - and not mine. It's not just adoption stuff, that's just one portion, so I'm really trying to let go and let God. I think I'll write more to you about it on facebook, b/c I need to vent to someone who understands. I'm so sorry it's taking so long!
ReplyDeleteThanks girls. It is nice to have friends in the boat with you!
ReplyDeleteDon't apologize for whining about the wait. We all did that! Waiting is so hard especially when it is longer than you anticipated. I felt the same way about wishing everyone would just stop asking because I got so sick of saying "not yet" (although for me it was "When can you go get Max?", not the referral wait). Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI could have written this post, Elisabeth! I can totally relate and am feeling exactly the same way. The same people ask me every. time. they. see. me. if I've heard anything...as if I would keep it a secret if I had. I appreciate them caring enough to ask but seriously...don't they realize I'm tired of saying No!?!?!
ReplyDeleteDon't apolize for whining. We all know how you feel and it's so good to know someone else is feeling the same way! :)
The wait stinks - there's no doubt about that! BUT the fact that the wait is MORE than worth it is what I had to focus on when we were waiting on Josiah.
ReplyDeleteCome on referral!!
well if it makes you feel any better, our wait is projected 17-20 months for a girl;( things could always get worse i guess. You are on the home stretch lady:)
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Sister!! The best things never come easily or quickly!! But what a blessing to know that Leah IS coming! :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there Elisabeth. It's almost over, you're right there. Just breathe! As soon as you get that news, all the pain of waiting just diappears.
ReplyDelete