Just had to put this out there... Too much on my mind to keep mum! My life is getting easier, Jack is in school now, Anderson's tantrums have calmed down, Annelise is an angel (most of the time). And today I could actually BREATHE again! It feels good. Almost a little TOO good. On my heart is the orphan. I try to forget, to enjoy this time with my littles, but I can't stop thinking there may be one more out there that needs a Mommy and Daddy. My timing is way off. We can't afford to start another adoption again, but it is ALL I think about. I love the ease of two at home and Jack in school. But then I think, do I want a life of ease here on earth? I look at our kitchen and think it needs a total overhaul. Which would cost about 20 grand. I know I could never do it. I would think with every new appliance a baby out there with big brown (blue?) eyes waiting. So pray for me. Pray for my hubby. If this is His will, and I do believe HE sets the lonely in families, then my hubby's heart will be changed, or I will be able to relax with this life I have with 3 small children. If you would like to offer me any advice, chime in! Because most of you that read this blog have the heart for an orphan.
Perhaps all it means is that we will adopt again one day, just not anytime soon. I know my hubby would love to be able to save save save for the future. And I get that, that is responsible. But who will look after them if not us?
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