where I am

Since this blog is really my outlet for my feelings about our adoption, here is where I am. I miss my girl. I can't sleep at night. I don't feel complete anymore. A piece of my heart belongs to my daughter who lives in Korea. I think everyday about the things I am missing. Her smiles, tears, bubbles and sighs. I try to distract myself, but I just miss her. It is really hard to explain how I can feel this for a baby I have never met, but I do. I am just tired of all the unknowns. How will she adjust? Will she grieve for a long time? How will it feel to see that? With my boys, I was there from day 1. My daughter has had two other women that loved her before I will get to hold her. How will I convey to her that I will protect her? When will we get to travel to Korea to get Annelise? So many questions swirl thru my head. I pray for peace. Yes, I am so happy Annelise is my daughter. But I am so saddened knowing I will take her away from the only family she has known. I guess I am grieving in my soul knowing what my tiny girl will go thru. Praying one day our family will be complete. And Annelise Bitna will know I am her mommy and she is home.