Since I am now private......

I can share Daniel and I are going to Williamsburg Friday night for our anniversary! 7 years. wow!! The kids are staying with grandparents. First time Anderson will be away from me overnight, but I am fairly sure he will have a blast, consume lots of sugar, and not miss me at all. :)

Next Monday is our actual anniversary. How wonderful would a referral be on our anniversary?? Fingers crossed people!!!

(this picture is a year old!)

p.s. - Look to the left and I now have a blog email. Finally. And if you have friends interested in our journey, feel free to give them my email and they can request an invitation. Maybe once baby Leah is home, I can go public again.

12 months, loving our leah

Today we celebrate 12 months of this adoption journey. I had hoped that by now we would have our referral, and have seen her sweet face, but adoption never happens like you plan it. So, I will celebrate the fact that we are indeed 12 months closer to our daughter than we were a year ago. I have been anxiously awaiting the day I could write this post. I really do not know why, it is not too exciting. I think I figured when I got to find the number 12 clipart and upload it onto here, we would be "there". "There" being the place you want to be in adoption, forward, with a picture of your baby to prove you are getting a child. And "there", not "here". "Here" being waiting. But, even if we did have her photo, we would still be waiting to go get her.
We love you sweet baby girl and anxiously await the day we will find out who you are. Our family is missing you.

On another note, this will be my last blog before going private. I just had to get that one year blog in. Blessings to all of you , and thanks for the great support I have received over this past year. I will be sending invitations to our private blog for all those who requested.

Going private **update**

I will be going private in a few days. If you would like an invitation to follow my blog, please leave your email here, and I will not publish it.
Going private for many reasons, one being I just do not feel safe posting private information online anymore.
Also when we do get our referral, I will feel much more comfortable sharing pictures to readers whom I know have only good intentions and are genuinly interested in our adoption. Thanks!

**I got responses from some of you who wish to continue following us, but you did not give an email address. I have to have your email to send you an invitation...thanks!**

ok

I think everything will be ok. It was just a demand letter from a person of questionable character, and our attorney thinks it is so absurd no need to worry. I don't think it has the potential to affect the adoption, kinda a person with a vendetta against me, unfortunately. Just breathe, right? May be going private with my blog ASAP.

f.y.i. - did not mean to be so vague, just really upset. It is nothing about a criminal action or anything like that. Over a cosigner and a student loan. I started thinking that I don't want you guys thinking I am being sued over a criminal action. lol. But seriously, i am going private as soon as I figure out how to.

If you believe....

...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39 NKJV)


Pray for me please!! I feel like I am under strong spiritual warfare because Satan does not want us to bring a child into a Christian family. Many many hard things have been going on this week in my life that is just unfathomable and overwhelming. I feel like he is trying to get a stronghold and make me feel like I am not equipped to handle one more child. If you believe in God, would you please pray for me and my family?

If you want just a glimpse of it, I was sued today.

Adoption friends

This weekend I got to meet a few girls from our adoption agency that are a little ahead of me in the waiting game. J has her sweet referral and D is patiently waiting still. (ring phone, ring!) We had a nice lunch and it was sooooooo awesome to talk face to face with sweet ladies who "get" adoption. It was the first time since we began the process I have done this. And I wish I could do it every day! We talked for over 3 hours and it felt like 20 mintues. At times, it can feel very isolating to know you are expecting a very special bundle, but not have any real physical proof you are. And at close to the year mark of this journey, some people have just kinda forgotten, and I stopped bringing it up. I think to some, it seems as though this will never happen. And some days I feel like that myself. But to get to talk in person to a woman with a photo book of her sweet baby's pictures, waiting to travel to pick him up was inspiring and refreshing. :) Thanks girls, and I hope when the babies are home, they will always be good friends. And I equally hope I can meet some of you, my new bloggy friends, in the near future!

Sweet!

I just talked to our adoption agency, and was happily surprised to hear it is only us and one other family on the top of the list for a little girl born in Korea. There are no numbers given out in our agency, but if there were, we would be number 1 or 2 !!! Wooo hooooooo

Now, that being said, girl referrals are not as fast a boy referrals, and they put an estimate on our referral coming in November - January. But, it could happen sooner. I am just thrilled beyone belief there are not alot of people in line ahead of us for a little girl.

I have not called the agency in a few months, due to not wanting to hear bad news, but I am so glad I called today. It just feels good to hear someone say you will get a referral and you are next in line for a baby girl born in Korea. She also said they have been getting in little girl referrals, which means things are moving. But she would not give out numbers. bummer.

We are almost at the year mark for starting this adoption. Wow, that went by slow. Seriously.

The boys are back in preschool, and I have joined the gym and am trying to train for a 4 miler. It is good to have a distraction, and my jiggly thighs could use the exercise.

Happy Wed., it sure is happy for me!!

4 months hstk

Woohoo my ticker finally moved past 3 months, 4 weeks, 2 days and onto 4 months!! Why are summer months so long? Anyway, another month of waiting to check off. Every day gets us closer, right? Average referral times with our agency seem to be at 5-6 months. We were told recently to expect a 6-8 month wait. So worst case, I am halfway there, although I am wishing for only another few months of waiting. Since I have been waiting 4 months, I am going to list off 4 things I have learned in this wait: 1) bedtime when I rock Anderson to sleep has been the hardest part of the wait. I think of our little girl and tear up almost every night. I hug my boy closer and pray she is being loved on somewhere across the world. 2) fridays are a bummer because I realize another week went by and no phone call. 3) sometimes in life you really have no control at all over your circumstances. You can wish, hope, and pray but ultimately, your destiny is in the hands of a higher power. 4) I have learned the longer I wait, the more I fall in love with her. I am thriving in the knowledge that our daughter is growing in my heart. 5) I cheat. One more. Ben and jerry can help soothe a tired of waiting mommy every time.

Adoption and Pregnancy

Before we were approved to adopt from South Korea, we had to sign a form saying if I were to become pregnant, we would immediately inform our agency and our adoption would be put on hold, until well after our baby was born. I have always had mixed feelings about this topic, and thought blogging about it would do me good, mostly because I have been having crazy dreams lately I am pregnant. Now, no, we are not trying. Yes, we are taking precautions to see that I don't become pregnant. But, nothing is foolproof, and if I do, what then? There would be a good chance we would never get our child from Korea. That would make me immensely sad, and I would feel a huge amount of conflicting emotions. Just my dreams lately are horrific. Of course I would love the baby I was pregnant with, but in my dreams I am absolutely heartbroken over losing our baby from Korea. Do you understand these rules? On one hand, I can see it. Korea wants the baby you adopt to be the only baby in the home, and I know that baby will need lots of time to bond and adjust to a whole new life. On the other, how does a mother feel when her heart is in love with a baby on the other side of the world, she becomes pregnant, and is forced to have to let that adopted baby go? Talk about stress.
I do know there are some countries and agencies that let a mother continue her adoption if she becomes pregnant. One of these countries is Ethiopia. But not every agency that works with Ethiopia will allow it. I think I am having these dreams because it is always in the back of my mind the type of situation that would be unfathomable. (is that a word?) And I know from talking with our agency it happens, and happens a fair amount.
How do you feel about it? Does your agency or country allow it?