10

10 months loving leah. Double digits now! The year mark will be here before I know it. This is an odd time in my life. Not pregnant, but expecting a baby. At 10 months, I am more than ready to see her face, buy her a crib and decorate her room. I think about her hourly, trying to imagine her age, and praying someone is holding her, kissing her cheeks softly and loving her. It tears me up inside when I think of her alone, without me. But I know south Koreans take very good care of the babies. I believe leah is born, and I hope to see her sweet picture by our one year adoption day.

Do you believe in signs?

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. ~Rabindranath Tagore

I have been researching butterflies thanks to my many sightings. This morning I saw three more, a pair on the way to take Jack to vbs, then a singular yellow butterfly on my way home. Butterflies have a very short life span, actually. I have looked up myths about butterflies and every culture has a different belief. The chinese feel they bring luck, An Irish blessing goes: "May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun, and find your shoulder to light on To bring you luck, happiness and riches today, tomorrow and beyond." The Greeks believed that a new human soul was born each time an adult butterfly emerged from its cocoon.

I am not a huge sign believer until now. I am not sure what all these butterflies mean, but I am going to take it as a gift. They are beautiful and I feel special seeing them everywhere this week. I can only hope and pray they are somehow a special sign about our adoption. As the quote says above, butterflies do count only moments, they are not here for long. I have each day to create memories with my children, and am trying to not wish the days away until I can see Leah's face, hold her, just get on that plane and go get her!! I will try to live for today, hope for tomorow and pray for my baby girl.

Do you believe in signs? Did you have any on your adoption journey or on other journeys in life?

Butterflies

Yesterday I saw two beautiful butterflies in our driveway. I thought to myself that was odd. I have not seen any butterflies since the Spring with this heat. Then they just seemed to hover above me, flying all around Jack and I. Jack was so excited. I could not help but think it was some type of sign about our adoption. I could be reading into it, but I don't care. They were beautiful and hovered over us for quite a while. I had to blog about it to see if anything really neat happened yesterday with Leah that I will find about it the future!!

A little update:
SO after I post this I go outside to water my flowers. I am standing there thinking about signs, and how silly I am for writing about how I saw two butterflies flying around me and it is a sign. Something flies right by me and yes, it is another beautiful butterfly. It hovers about the flowers I am watering while I try to recollect if I have seen any butterflies in our yard. Nope, have not seen a one since we moved in early Spring. It looked exactly like the butterflies I saw yesterday. Beautiful yellow with spots. It just makes me wonder....

Thoughts on a Thursday

Yea, corny, I know. I am still here, just waiting around for the phone to ring. Which it probably will sometime today, but it probably won't be my social worker. I am feeling a little nutty, with a totally empty bedroom upstairs sans a closet full of baby girl clothes. And a sweet antique chandelier I am going to spray paint cream and add pink shades too. Does anyone or did anyone feel this way with an adoption? It is odd to be gathering things and not really have any real proof on me that I will be the mother of a tiny little girl from Korea. I have my adoption shirts, my neclaces, my magnets, my blog........ But really, this wait is starting to get to me. I do have the boys to keep me busy, and that is my only save. The constant wondering "when will I get the call?" is making me antsy and nervous. I even have crazy wild dreams about a referral and some of them are not pleasant. I am totally psyching myself out about traveling to Korea alone and leaving my boys for a whole week. I pretty much am panicked about it. Jack I think will be ok, but again, I am so worried about Anderson, who is not yet even 2. I guess this is just all a part of the wait, but boy is this wait emotional. Just when I think about "the call" I tear up. And I am not a crier. (well don't ask my hubby about it, but I say I am not one)
I love reading blogs, but I am afraid I have started to stalk people's timelines. Which is fun, but sometimes discouraging. Some people have their referral by this point, others had awhile to wait. We were trying to save up all the money needed for referral, and have so far been able to pay cash for all adoption expenses, but yesterday Daniel applied for loan for 3/4 of what we will need to pay Korea in the event we do get our referral soon. We try to be debt free, and I know that is hard on Daniel. But maybe we will not need it if we get some kind of sweet hail storm. (Daniel has an auto appraisal business, and if he gets a hail claim at a car dealership, it is payday!) So if you want, pray for hail. :)
So those are my jumbled thoughts on this Thursday. Hail and all.

Wordless Wednesday

Jack as a wee baby. Where does time go?

I think we need to spring for another.......

COZY COUPE!

Children's Museum

We have been visiting our local museaum a lot lately with this heat. Here are a few pics.

I love this shot. Poor Anderson.



Water and boats? Every little boy's dream.

Awesome shirt

Look at my shirt - don't you love it? The hope is more for me than Leah I think. I have hope she will come home and we will have a daughter. Laura Kelly at pitterpatterart designs these. www.pitterpatterart.com

I have no time to write this, I am trying to get Jack off to a summer day camp but I had to share because I am so excited!!

Yay July!!!

(Anderson sharing his sippy with cousin Paul, won't he be a good big brother?


One more month down! Goodbye June. :)
I talked to Barker, our adoption agency, and the wait for referral has gotten a few months longer. They are averaging 6 months from dossier to Korea to referral. So, we are down 2, hopefully 4 to go. October is one of my favorite favorite months, so an October referral would fit in nicely. Of course, July could easily become my favorite month if anyone listening would like to match us this month. (smile)
Something that made me ridiculously happy is in my email from Barker, I was told to enjoy our family vacation of 4 this summer, because next summer our vacation will be as a family of 5.
We are vacationing to Florida in July and I am so excited to get the boys trunks, pails and gear together. We really need some family time and I can not wait to see Anderson and Jack's reaction to the ocean.
So happy July everyone!