14 months waiting

Today marks 14 months praying, waiting, and hoping for my daughter. Time seems very important in adoption. It is a kind of marker, when you have nothing to go on. I have been throwing myself into Christmas. The house is decorated, Christmas cards are made. This is super fast for me. This season I will be staying busy! One fine day, my phone will ring. And my little girl will be waiting for us.

This year we give thanks for.........

Unknown BLESSINGS already on their way. - Author unknown

We love you, baby girl, and know you are on your way to us. We will miss you tomorrow, but hope with all our hearts next Thanksgiving we will get to hold you high when our turn comes around to share what we are thankful for.

A new day

Yesterday's post was seriously depressing, so I thought I had better cheer it up. Today is my birthday, and while SWS did not get my memo that is would be a fabulous day for my referral, it was still a good day! I had sweet friends, yummy cake and a loving family wishing me happy birthday all day. What more could a girl want?

So while my birthday wish did not come true from last year, I have a good feeling this year's wish will come true.

Bang bang bang

That is my head. Banging against the desk. How long will it be until I see my baby??? I am being very counterproductive tonight, going thru blog after blog trying to find South Korean blogs of families waiting for a referral longer than me. Silly, I know. I am not having much luck. Out of 13 blogs, it looks like one family waited longer than 13 months from the start of adoption to referral. And yes, it could be months more. How. will. I. manage. that.
I love to read new blogs of families getting their referral, but each time I do, i stalk the timeline and shoot up my fists when I see they got theirs faster than me. Just a little confession from an almost 31 year old woman. Sigh. God is in control. God is in control.
Tomorrow is my Birthday. My wish from last year was to see my sweet Leah. I guess there is always tomorrow.

Another adoption friend referral!

I am so excited, because my adoption friend, that I met first in our educational class a looooong time ago (lol) got her baby boy referral today!!! She is with our agency, and has been waiting the longest of anyone I have heard of recently. Her paperwork has been in Korea for seven and a half months. I am very excited for her and me, it means things are moving at Barker, despite the slowdown. I am not sure how many came in today, but it gives me hope that she did not have to wait longer than she did. I kinda gage my wait on hers. She was the only person I know ahead of me in the wait. I am sure there are others, but I do not know any of them. I know we are top for girls, just not sure when Barker will get more referrals......
Congrats Debra! I can't wait to see pictures of you baby boy!!!!

Help this family keep their adoption file from closing!!

http://theblairfamily-dawn.blogspot.com/

This family is in need of your help, tonight! They are adopting a precious baby girl from Ethiopia and if they do not sell enough $10 Christmas cd's tonight, their agency will shut down their file. They are almost there, can you help?? Their goal is to sell 644 cd's in 24 hours, which is almost up, and last I heard, they still need to sell 200 and something.

Link up and spread the word! I cannot imagine the thought of losing Leah over insufficient funds....... please help them! Christmas cd's make great gifts!!

Leah's dresser and her closet :)

My friend gave me this dresser and we painted it pink over the weekend. I love the way it turned out. I am going to add crystal knobs!!



Her closet, more clothes in those pink bins underneath. Most of these were given to me, or bought really cheap off of friends, so awesome!


This sweet asian doll was given to Leah by another adoptive Mama, Heather.

The bow drawer. Yes, I do have two boys. Yes, I do need my daughter soon before one bow drawer becomes two.

About the giveaway...

If I still don't have the referral by the end of december, i will just draw a name from the pot! And you all can send me flowers for sympathy. (j/k)! kinda!

:) This is what happens when I do giveaways. I remember the last giveaway was "guess when Elisabeth will get her 1-600A approval" and what was supposed to be a 6 week longest scenario ended up taking 11. Way past when everyone guessed. sigh. Next giveaway will not surround numbers and my adoption! Leah is just taking her sweet time. Maybe she is a really calm, restful child?? !!

I love..... a dedication to my baby

Baby girl, I love you.
I love your sweet Asian eyes
I love the dimples you will have when you smile
I love the soft tufts of your hair, that one day I will stroke when I rock you to sleep
I love how soft your heart will be
I love how you will come to me because another made the ultimate sacrifice
I love how with every breath you take, you will be a miracle
I love how with each long day that goes by, I know your heart beats on the other side of the world
I love that God purposed you for our family
I love that before you were created, He knew you
I love that loving you reminds me of just how much I was loved by my birth mother
I love that you are bringing the light of adoption into the world
I love that I dream of you at night
I love that one day I will see your sweet face, and remember you from my dreams
I love that I am getting to experience this
I love how when I hold your big brother, I try to imagine what you will feel like
I love how each moment with my boys, and the love I feel for them, reminds me just how blessed I am that I will get to experience this with another child
I love how when I see a pink outfit, I think of how sweet you would look in it
I love that you have a closet full of clothes bought and given to you with love
I love how loving you for this long will make my first glimpse of you that much sweeter
I love how loving you has brought me close to many others with hearts on fire for the children of Korea and all over the world
I love that when I hold you for the first time, it will all be worth it
I love that I will get to experience meeting you for the first time with your Daddy
I love to imagine the look in your Daddy's eyes after he lays eyes on you for the first time
I love that God wrote your name on my heart

This is so disapointing

I just talked to our agency and the waits are getting longer. They put us getting a little girl at a few month longer wait now. Even though we are at the top of the list. I have heard they give the worst case scenarios, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around that right now. I just want to sit with my grief. I don't know how I will do this until February or March. I am so ready to snap with the wait at our 6 month mark/ 13 month journey. They originally told us 4-6 months. Now they are telling me 8-10 months. This is so hard.